Daily Tarot Reading 40

Another milestone, another level of consciousness has been reached. You see the pattern of your own personal evolution through time, how the unique blend of events, actions and responses has taken you where you are now – the totality of you in the present moment. How does it look like from up there? What do you see, what have you learned? Where do you want to move next? The higher you raise your consciousness the simpler everything gets. You might wonder what will be left when you will have achieved everything you ever wanted in this life. Perhaps you might find out that you simply want to be careless and free again like you were as a child. That you desire to have that freedom and curious outlook back because you already had everything else and you know that, at one point, the weight of worldly achievements becomes too heavy to bear. You long to touch your innocence, to believe in it no matter what you’ve experienced. Let your soul take you there. The exposure to life leads to the higher octave of innocence.

Silence and Starlight

– Please, tell me what do I have to do!
– …………
– Please, say something! Anything! I really need to know!
– …………
– Ooh, don’t be silent like that, not now! I might miss something. You know how much I care! Why do you do this to me?
– …………

Daily Tarot Reading 39

Have you ever paid attention to how a muscle works? It contracts and immediately relaxes with an intent to produce a result of some sort. The cards for today remind me of this process, as well as of Mother Nature that holds answers to all our questions and solutions for all our problems. We are one of her creations, and our intellect shouldn’t be leading us away from this simple truth. This is how you bring your innate potential to reality – you work like a muscle. You concentrate every bit of yourself to be present in the moment of action and you let go, you let the tension disappear like a drop that fuses with the surface of water. And throughout the contraction you remain in the state of complete openness of any possibility that may come your way. You trust your innocence to guide you and the natural rhythms of life to bring you exactly where you need to be. No resistance, no expectations – only your heart full of thirst for life and a land of infinite possibilities ahead. Your journey.

Daily Tarot Reading 38

From time to time we encounter those moments when we feel completely polarized. On one hand we have our intuition, that gut instinct telling us to act in a certain way but we cannot explain why or how we know this. On the other hand we have our intellect based on evidence and facts – could be a more trustworthy advisor. However, sometimes doing what’s right feels so wrong that it is like going against oneself. So what do we do? We are stuck between the two, paralyzed, rendered unable to make any decisions. What we have to realize is that the chasm between logic and instinct in and of itself is created by our minds. The urgency to hold on to one side, to decide, to be certain is an illusion. We fear what we don’t know, so we try to find safety in knowing. But actually the unknown is our way out of this situation. What makes us run away are the thoughts we project into the unknown. We are scared of our own imagination. If we let go and fall into the chasm there’s nothing left to be afraid of. We are free to go.

Daily Tarot Reading 37

We all want something. We go after it. We wish to reach the top and expand our possibilities as we ascend higher and higher. But whatever it is we try to achieve we can’t do it alone. Even if the time comes when the spotlight is on us and we finally have that breakthrough moment, there are many behind us who joined their hands to help us succeed when we needed that help. But we can get too busy being successful. Fear of loosing it can start creeping in. We have reached the top and we want to hold on to it, and suddenly our achievement becomes so fragile that we now need to protect it. Indeed, sometimes others want what we have, and the threat of competition makes us even more aggressive. In a split second we move from being a part of the world to standing against it. Our victories can test us even more than our losses. The bigger the win, the bigger the test. What are we going to do this time?

Daily Tarot Reading 36

Today we are called to face the truth. From time to time it is necessary to dig through all the layers that separate the surface from the core to understand if we can trust what we see. False truths and delusive behaviors are hard to sustain. Sooner or later they break down, and when they do it’s better we are already aware instead of being helpless in the face of catastrophe taken by surprise. Are we willing to honestly admit to ourselves those less-than-pleasant facts? And if not what it is that we are afraid of? Why would we prefer lies over truth? What would truth mean to us? Actually, any discomfort in this situation is just a measure of our resistance. Life occasionally takes away those things that are not truthfully ours, and if we fight back they are taken by force. Sooner or later we will see that raw and naked reality, it just depends what path we take to get there.

The Split

Image: dream by greg westfall, CC BY 4.0

My first childhood memory comes from a very early age. I was only 6-8 months old but I can clearly remember what I was motivated to do. I was crawling down the corridor to the living room and I was so excited! I knew there were a lot of people there and that they all would laugh, clap their hands and greet my appearance with great joy. I wanted that moment when I was a queen of the house and everybody’s attention was on me. No fear at all, only pure joy. This memory reminds me I wasn’t born socially anxious. I became one.

Daily Tarot Reading 35

Daydreams – so sweat, so real… so toxic. If there are parts of our reality that make us want to turn away we become especially vulnerable to daydreams. The world is perfect there, all our wishes have come true and we are living in the paradise. Who could deny us those little luscious moments of happiness if sometimes it is the only happiness we have? But there’s a price to pay. While we dream our real life turns into ruins. We slip away. We could look out the window and see the sun shining and colors blasting out there, and yet we feel we don’t belong there, not anymore. Some cord of life has been cut away from us, and the sadness of it pushes us back to sleep. We have to ask ourselves which is better – castles in the sky that will never be fully ours or little but real fulfillments we can see and touch? We can sit there behind the window forever or we can come out and start building our life little by little. We can carry our dreams with us and slowly turn them into reality. Doesn’t that sound better?

Portrait of My Social Anxiety

I wanted to draw it for you. Straight with words. This is how it looks like:

– I fear criticism and judgment most of all. That is why I either avoid those situations altogether or I wear the know-it-all-look-how-smart-I-am mask. None of these approaches help. They only make me feel more miserable.

Daily Tarot Reading 34

How much control do you think you have over your life? You discipline yourself. Filter your thoughts. Clean away the dirt. Polish every corner. Decorate. Stay on top. It is especially important nowadays when good self-image is the number one thing so that we can show others how perfect we are in this world full of perfect people. Who could blame us when perfection is a standard? But there’s a weak spot. Those dark, deep, messy, muddy waters we all have in our basements – subconscious. The more we deny it the darker it gets. This is who we truly are. Our happiness, healing and authenticity lie there. Every ghost we see in the mirror begs for turning back inside and owning that truth. Sometimes the scariest skeletons are hidden in houses with the shiniest facades. So why should we take others – or ourselves – at face value? Why should we feel bad when looking at others? The only thing ever worth doing is – staying present with yourself. You cannot run away anyways…